


Triggers

by scottmczall



Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-02-16 14:07:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2272635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scottmczall/pseuds/scottmczall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slow burn multi-chapter in which Lydia and Stiles start coming to terms with their feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Give Me a Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One thing: We have really minor (only mentioned) Stiles/Malia shenanigans at the beginning of this fic. I took their tag out because it ends up on their list and it sucks to have a fic a tag for a pairing when they're only secondary/background relationship. So. Enjoy.

The sky was blue. Too blue. The birds were singing and Lydia wanted to shove them under the dirt so they would stop acting like things were okay. She had a hard time coping with that happy weather that looked like it had just come out of an idiotic romantic comedy- the ones the loved so dearly. As a matter of fact, she thought the stupid town should own up to it's own disasters and live under a constant gray cloud of horribleness. _Fucking California._

On that particular saturday, however, she was feeling less peeved regarding the sunshine and such- she had even opened her curtains and sighed at the sight of the trees outside. Everything was fine and blissful as she flipped through pages of an old book. Until, of course, she was bothered. She longed the days she wouldn't have rolled her eyes or have her stomach dropping what felt like ten feet just to a knock on her door.

"Kira?" Lydia opened her door slowly only to encounter a raven colored mess of hair locks. The girl in front of her whimpered and spoke muffled words under a coat of clothing and hair. Lydia tilted her head trying to understand what the hell she was doing- and then she realized. Kira was trapped trying to get off of her - apparently _very_ tight - sweater. Lydia placed her hands over the fabric and helped her pull until she was left when the piece of clothing on her hands as Kira clung to the doorframe trying to keep herself from falling. "Are you okay?" Lydia asked under a breath.

"Ah, yeah, yeah. I'm just, you know… bad at taking my clothes off. No that I don't do it often," She explained, quickly widening her eyes. "Or do! Because I don't! I take my clothes the normal amount of times a day."

Lydia arched her eyebrow watching her friend babble, inevitably thinking of Stiles. They were alike only in regards of the babbling. Kira was usually embarrassed by it. Lydia wasn't quite sure Stiles even knew what embarrassment was.

"I believe you." She smiled. "But what are you doing here? And if it's a supernatural outbreak, I'm aggressively uninterested."

"Oh, no. I came to pick you up. For eating. You said you'd go. Even Liam's going." Kira quirked the corner of her lips upwards sweetly. Lydia did say she'd go. Probably. She was often reading the bestiary furiously, eating every word up in the hopes of being able to prevent - or stop more quickly - things from happening, so she mainly just waved them accordingly or pointed them to her notes so they'd leave her alone.

"I said once that I wasn't participating on your couple related activities even if I were to be taken hostage by the devil himself. I believe that trumps my absentminded nod earlier." Lydia crossed her arms over her chest, defying Kira with a pensive pout.

"But it isn't! Liam's going. It can't be a double date if Liam's going." She begged with her _stupid_ , gorgeous, sweet, sweet puppy eyes and Lydia almost groaned at her insistence.

"Then it's a triple date in which I get the freshmen." She held one finger up when her friend opened her mouth to protest. "Kira, no," She rolled her eyes briefly. "But we _are_ still up for the mall on the weekend."

"Ugh, fine! But you better be at your best girlfriend behavior because you have to pay for not coming with us today." She then smiled once again and turned on her heels.

Her attempts were flattering, but extremely unwelcome at first. Lydia was glad that now that the dangers of the supernatural were out they still made an effort to keep her close. But then it got tiring. She didn't want to go out with two couples and Liam. She didn't want a boyfriend either. She didn't want them to be couples, but she didn't want them to break up. It was a conflicting feeling and she knew it was all on her. Didn't make it any less frustrating or infuriating.

The redhead went to close the door, but it bounced back, almost hitting her.

"What the hell?" She yelled, going to look outside.

"Oh, hey, Lyds." Stiles stood in front of her, one hand on the doorknob and the other in his pocket. He looked like he had just woken up and thrown the most hideous outfit together. She would've twisted her nose at him for his lack of fashion sense, but he looked… fine. _Considering._

"Stiles," Her speech was slow and careful, "what are you doing here?" She sighed, impatient. Lydia would've very much liked to go back to her room and enjoy her own company and the silence she seemed to be the only one to keep.

"I'm taking you out with us. C'mon, we're late." He grabbed her hand and she gasped at the collision. He hadn't taken her hand in so long, the touch felt foreign. She tried not to think back to how natural it was just a few months ago, but it was inevitable. She could, however, avoid the dwelling. And the touch all together.

"I'm not going." With a yank back of her hand, Stiles was left with an annoying look on his face. He looked at her just as impatient as she was, which was outrageous, because he didn't have anything to be mad about. Lydia, one the other hand, had been rudely disturbed by her overcaring friends. Twice.

"Lydia, c'mon. How long are you gonna keep this up? Every time we go out 's gonna be without you?" He pleaded. "We want you there. I guarantee zero PDA."

That wasn't enough for her. It didn't really matter how much they were touching when they exhaled those couple-y vibrations like they were some sort of love chanel roaming around. Kira _could_ _not_ take her eyes off of Scott for a fraction of second and Malia would certainly be trying to break the no-PDA rule one minute in. And she couldn't blame them. They had all the right- the privilege, even - to be as disgustingly and publicly in love as they wished. She just didn't have to stay and watch.

"Stiles, I get a glimpse of your..." She mused briefly. " _intimacy_ everyday at lunch. If I could avoid those extracurriculars activities I also would, but I can't. I know how this innocent hang out ends. And I don't oppose to it, I'm just not particularly interested on being the fifth wheel participant." Lydia smiled tight, but stopped when seeing Stiles in motion for a reply.

"But Li-"

"If you justify this by say Liam's going I'm seriously going to punch you in the throat."

"But he is! Liam's going. Do you wanna leave him there to be an actual fifth wheel?" He quirked up an eyebrow and licked his own lips, hopeful on his persuasion skills.

"Are you appealing to my compassion for the freshmen who helped destroy my lake house?" Lydia couldn't help but narrow her eyes at him. His shoulders fell and she smiled discreetly.

"I'm desperate, okay? We don't see you outside of school and it's odd." He huffed. "This? Right here?" Stiles signaled in the space between them. "This is odd behavior!" He waved excessively. "I shouldn't have to beg you to go out with me."

"Us." She corrected him quickly.

"Huh?"

"Go out with us. Not _me_." She paused. " _Us_."

"Oh my god! You understood me!" Stiles rolled his eyes at her. "Can't you just come? We'll scatter the couples. We can mix sit, you know? I sit away from Malia, Scott will sit away from Kira. And then we won't even be couples anymore." The boy suggested hopefully again. Lydia wanted to kick him for thinking of going through that trouble. She had said no. It made her crazy that Stiles wouldn't just get a goddamn 'no' for what it was: the ultimate negative.

"Will you sit next to me?" She asked calmly, batting eyelashes as charmingly as she knew how to. Lydia saw him swallow hard after a brief second and that caught her off guard. He wasn't like that anymore. Not hard swallowing, blushing or not-so-secret devoted looks. That was a first in a row of months and it made her shiver.

"Yeah, Lyds." The boy licked his lips again and this time she stared. "Of course I'll sit next to you." His voice sounded sweet, triggering an extent range of memories. Stiles' eyes flickered in the sunlight and her heart jumped unexpectedly. The air seemed to be sucked out of her lungs. He was just supposed to say yes so she could smile sarcastically and yell 'no' then hit his face with her door. That seemed out of line now.

"Fine. Since you can't seem to function without me, I'll go."


	2. Deep in Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles takes Lydia out with the pack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I’m hurting from this last episode. Not enough Lydia. I’m gonna go cry now, you have fun.

_This is not a double date. You are not the fifth wheel_ , or so she kept telling herself as she walked into the diner. Kira and Scott were already inside with Liam. The freshman never looked her in the eyes. She wasn't curious enough to question him about it, but his wolfy shenanigans at the lake house seemed like a good reason for such avoidance. He obviously couldn't have helped it, but she wasn't about to comfort him about gifting her with even more than the average amount trouble.

"I knew Stiles could convince you!" Kira clapped excitedly making Lydia roll one hundred imaginary eyes inside of her. She wished she could shake off that fame of being touched in the core by Stiles. The truth to it being _absolutely_ irrelevant.

"She just wanted to sit next to me." The boy grinned and she elbowed him.

"Shut your mouth, Stiles." Her scold was brief. "I came because I didn't want anyone else knocking at my door for the day. And this is a one time thing, if you try and convince me otherwise, my house will be covered in mountain ash by later today."

Lydia sat by Liam after nodding in greeting to him mid speech. Stiles squeezed her when sitting by her side. He was too big for that booth so she was tight between him and youngest of them. That was bound to be disastrous. That was one of the many reasons why she started plotting an early leave right away.

"We won't insist, I promise." Scott smiled making her feel slightly horrible. They were too sweet, it was hard to cope with it sometimes. "Hey, it's okay, no need to feel bad." He reassured her, making the girl widen her eyes.

"Scott, stop sniffing our emotions, man, that's so creepy. We talked about this." Stiles opened his mouth in exasperation, grimacing at his friend. Scott looked at them apologetically and nodded silently while Kira chuckled. "Where's Malia, by the way?" He proceeded. Lydia's stomach tightened as he asked so she adjusted herself on the chair, trying to get rid of the feeling. Liam flinched and so did Scott. She glared at the older one. Lydia really didn't need him prying into her unresolved - unthought of - feelings.

"Bathroom." Kira answered cheerfully. “But I guess we can order.” She shrugged.

After they started debating dishes, as if they didn’t already know what they wanted, Lydia dozed off. Malia came back to the table and sat between Scott and Kira. Lydia sighed at the rearrangements made strictly for her benefit. She didn’t want them to go through the trouble, but she wasn’t about to make everyone rearrange sits out of pity for their romantic hearts, nor her absolute discomfort of being the reason why they were sitting in such random order.

When she was deepest in her thoughts Liam huffed at a joke Stiles made, catching her attention. That was the first time that had happened. He never laughed at Stiles, be it out of intimidation or annoyance. She could relate to the second point and, quite sincerely, she missed the days that was all she felt for him; profound annoyance. Lydia hadn’t heard what the joke was about, but smirked out of pure habit. That usually threw them off of her absentminded state. Most times she wished she could connect to them better- or at all-, but lately it was hard to find something to cling to. They seemed to be going on about things she wasn’t quite familiar with; or interested in, for that matter. Nothing in particular, usually- they just had a very personal dynamics now and the feeling of being the outcast wouldn’t leave. So she sat on corners looking out windows with Liam. The same Liam who had _just_ gotten into the pack. It was a tad discouraging.

“Well, this has been fun, but I have to go.” She beamed, soon nudging Stiles, nodding in signal that he should let her out of the booth. All heads turned to her with disappointed looks. They _all_ had puppy eyes; it was out of control. Stiles didn’t move.

“It’s not even seven yet.” He narrowed his eyes at her, making the girl breathe deeply before speaking again.

“I have things to do, Stiles! Let. Me. Out.” The words gritted slowly between her teeth.

“She’s lying! I caught that!” Malia said proudly with a smile on her face. Lydia was usually silently glad when the werecoyote figured things out on her own. That wasn’t one of those times, however.

“Have we not established how much is crossing a line yet? No smelling me and no hearing my internal organs. Got it?” Her speech was directed to Malia in particular, but she glared at all of them, because it was given. “Now, I don’t really _have_ to go, but I would appreciate not being kept hostage even if among friends, if that’s possible.” She shook her head lightly to get some strands of hair out of her face, chin up.

“Who’s gonna take you home, though?” Liam asked, backed against the wall. Lydia almost hissed at him, but she reckoned he’d jump out that window too. “I mean, Stiles brought you, right?” He grimaced as if he were walking on shattered glass.

“Good thing we invented the concept of taxicabs right around the seventeen hundreds, then.” She spoke sweetly and smiled sarcastically watching him give her a quick nod, face growing red.

“No, I’ll take you.” The boy beside her got up, giving her the space to get out of the booth. “It’ll be quick, I’ll be right back.” He looked at Malia and she nodded with a little smile on her lips. Lydia followed him silently, then looked at her friends sitting cozely next to each other. That was always like a punch to her heart for some reason.

“See you all on monday.” And with a smile she turned the other way, relieved to the bone for leaving early. What cut through her peace of mind was the twitching feeling that they’d be confronting her more seriously in no time, just because it sounded so much like something they’d do. They were pack, after all. And so was she, even though it was something she seemed to be constantly reminding herself of, instead of feeling it, like she used to.

She walked out quickly, hoping to any god that she wouldn’t have left a scent that condemned her somehow. She didn’t want them to jump to conclusions, mostly because their conclusions would be right; she wasn’t looking forward to spending time with them. It was like a claustrophobic crowd of people she didn’t know- brutally different, but painfully familiar. She missed old faces they wouldn’t get to see again.

“Hey, hey, calm down. Are you racing home?” Stiles joked, jogging to reach her. He stayed behind for a second saying extra goodbyes.

“You really don’t need to take me. I have money again, remember?” She smiled at him. “And I should probably give you some so you can pay for my order.”

“Lydia, calm down.” He touched her elbow as she started the search for her wallet inside her purse. Lydia refrained a little too abruptly and he flinched. “Woah, sorry.” He whispered gravely. Her face fell at her own reaction. _What’s happening to me?_

“No! It’s alright, you just caught me by surprise.” Lydia cleared her throat feeling her body stiff. She wanted to leave as fast as possible to wash away the embarrassment. The was sure of the redness taking over her face because it burned hot like her insides. She sucked hard on her lower lip, uncertain of what he was about to do. He looked disturbed.

“It’s the second time today and I’m literally standing right next to you, Lydia. Are sure that’s all?” The way he questioned her, firm eyes, intense, affective gaze, made something cold go down her spine. She wasn’t up for that kind of confrontation. The redhead pondered between answers, but soon enough the words were out.

“Yes, Stiles!” She hissed. “Not everything is a clue for you to investigate, ok? I’m fine!” Her voice raised in the slightest and she demanded herself to take to calm down. “You don’t have to come. They have cabs all around this area.” She forced her tone back to normal. “Stay.” Lydia touched the boy’s arm briefly. “They need you in there.” Her smile was of pursed lips.

“They need you, too.” Stiles pleaded sweetly and suddenly she was aware of the dim moonlight bathing his face. Her heart fluttered and she cursed herself for being so foolish.

“They’re fine.” She waved him off. “I’ll go. You stay. If you come after me I’ll simply call the police and tell them you’re stalking me.” The girl started walking away from him as he stood still and snorted.

“I’m the Sheriff’s son!”

“Yeah, don’t you think that would be embarrassing for him?” She made a face before turning away from him.

It was time to go home.

  



	3. Late at Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles _needs_ to see Lydia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, babes. Sorry this is small, I had three family things when I thought I'd have more time. Hope you guys enjoy it regardless!

He should _not_ have been doing that. It wasn't his place to do it. It never was, but right now it was even worse, because he didn't even have permision in his head- and that was a fucking statement. Stiles should've turned back when he pondered about this. But  no. He drove strained, knuckles turning more prominent as he squeezed the steering wheel tighter, making his palms burn. _Maybe it's not_ that _bad_ , he measured, trying to convince himself. But he knew better. Driving to Lydia's house after 11p.m. on a sunday night was out of line. It definitely crossed a little past one they had drawn silently in the past, but it was a jog away from the one he had drawn when he started dating someone. 

He was supposed to have forgotten her. And he so delusionally believe he did, for a second there. It was easy, because he actually liked Malia. But what was even liking compared to that? He wouldn't have driven to her house in a less-than-boyfriend-girlfriend situation just to check if she was alright when she hadn't even called. And yet, he was driving to Lydia's house exactly to do that.  _Maybe it's that tether thing_ ,  he added to his previous theory. And maybe it was, really. It was definitely a  _pull_ . And, boy, did he curse that pull as he beat the steering wheel, gritting teeth. 

When he pulled over on her driveway, he got out of the car and walked determinately to her door. But then he backed down. What if her mom answered? Natalie wasn't very into him these days. Lydia did seem to get into a lot of trouble when she was with him, so he kinda understood. Stiles did the next best thing, pulling the phone out of his pocket.

**Lyd open ur door**

**\- Stiles**

He awaited for an answer for less than a minute. The boy heard a hiss and looked up only to see a curtain of red hair hanging from out a window. Lydia looked profoundly annoyed, and he couldn't even blame her.

**what r u doing here??**

**\- Lydia**

He rolled his eyes at her reply. It was starting to get cold and he really didn't want to stay outside.

**Can u just open the door? im fucking freezing**

**\- Stiles**

He heard a frustrated groan coming from the same window she showed up before and it wasn't too long before the door was open. Her figure was a shadow in the night when she stood by the entrance in the dark. He could barely see anything but a white line contouring her profile with the light provided by the moon. Even then he could tell she looked gorgeous. He balled his hands in fists and walked up to her.

“Why are the lights out?” He asked innocently, but she didn’t answered him. Lydia closed the door carefully and grabbed his hand without asking for permission. It had been a long time since that had happened last. She pulled him behind her, walking up the stairs and taking him into her room. He inevitably thought about how a year ago that would've made him pass out or disrupt into a babbling mess. Lydia then closed doors again, slowly. 

Her room’s lights were on, so now he could properly see her in pink pajamas shorts and a big white t-shirt. He was amused by the view, to say the least. Stiles didn’t know what he expected her going to sleep being like, but he had never thought about her out of skirts, dresses and rather fancy footwear.

“My mom is asleep, Stiles! And what are you even doing here?” Lydia whisper-shouted at him. She shook her head negatively like she didn’t believe he was actually there, running a hand through her hair.

“I was worried!” He justified himself and she shushed him. “Sorry.” Now he as whispering too. “You’ve been weird lately, I just wanted to know if you were okay. But really okay, not like when you say you’re okay, but you're not  _actually_ okay.” He looked at her dead in the eyes knowing how much that made her uncomfortable. She lowered her gaze first every time. But not today, curiously. 

“I don’t do that anymore.” She answered pointedly. “No one's asked me anything lately, though.” She shrugged with a dry smile on her face. He felt himself ready to reply her on the spot, but the was  right . And he hadn’t asked. Just because he was obsessing inside his head didn’t mean he’d been outspoken about the sudden run back into old habits. 

“Uh- but are you, though? Okay, I mean. Because you can talk to me if you’re not.” He raised one eyebrow in suggestion watching her look at him blankly. 

“Do  _you_ want me to talk?” Lydia crossed her arms over her chest, walking up to him slowly. She looked really threatening, even in pajama shorts and shorter than usual, without those heels. 

“No.” He frowned. “I mean, yes! But, like, only if you’d like to.” He sounded questioning, which made her narrow her eyes at him. “Talk, I mean. The talking.” The completion didn’t feel like it made any just to what he actually meant, so the boy sighed and tried again. “You do the talking, I’ll be listening.”

“Well, I don’t wanna talk, so you can stroll all the way back to your piece of crap jeep.  _Silently_ .” She brushed him off and sat down on her bed, seeming unfazed at his attempt.

“Lyds, please?” He begged, rushing to sit beside her. It was such a punch to his face that after all the time they spent together, leaning on each other, she would just turn her back on him like that, ready to go back to the silence she knew so well. He didn't want her to. Stiles didn't want her to feel like she had to be alone. 

Lydia closed her eyes and stayed like that for a few seconds too long. She was pondering, he knew that, probably running variables in her own head trying to figure out which was the best way out of the situation, if there was any. Or which one would be more beneficial for the two of them- or at least he liked to think she was considering both their well beings. 

"It's nothing. I just don't feel really… in." The girl sighed, pulling her hair to the front, making the light red waves fall loosely over her left side.

"In?" 

"Yes, in! I feel out of place when I'm with you. It's like you're a whole other group of friends and there's just no space for me at all." She shrugged lightly. "I still feel like you're my pack- as stupid as that sounds when said out loud-, but I don't feel like a friend." 

"I don't understand..." Stiles frowned. That was absurd. Of course she was a friend. Scott aside, she was  _the_ friend. 

"Join the club." With a roll of eyes Lydia got up again. "You don't have to fix this, Stiles. It's not anyone's fault. It just happened, it'll probably go away. You shouldn't be here."  _and you can go_.  He knew that's what she meant, suddenly too nice to say it. The thought made him snort; Lydia Martin as too nice. That wasn't a feature he'd usually make use of to describe her. 

"I can stay." He brushes off the previous thought easily, concentrating on her. She stood tall in front of him and it had nothing to do with height. It was just about her and who she was. Stiles never thought of her as small- she always looked big like she was about to take on the world with a word or two and that's exactly how he saw her. 

"But you can't." She smiled at him sadly. He felt she was telling him something else and usually he'd so willingly take on what it was, but today felt like one of those odd ones, and nothing worked as it normally would- so he didn't get the message, whatever it was. 

"Why not? Of course I can stay." He raised his hand to take on hers and massaged her knuckles reassuringly. "I can always stay." Stiles smiled back at her and she squeezed his hand briefly, looking down. There was something different about her again, but that one didn't seem wrong. It troubled him nonetheless. 

"Not today." She pulled him, making the boy stand up. "Another time?" The suggestion sounded sincere, not like when she would say something to throw them off. So he nodded in agreement, feeling his chest tighten at the thought of leaving her feeling misplaced like she said she did. Of course he needed to fix it. 

"Promise?" He grinned and she nodded. "You know I'll take on this promise, don't you?"

Lydia smiled a little brighter.

"I'm counting on it."


	4. Ends for Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took one more day to upload than I had promised, but I slept then 6p.m. to 9a.m friday to saturday and that caught me by surprise sooo. Have a nice read!

She doesn't mean to feel guilty when she looks at Stiles from across the lunch table, poking her meal. But if she could stop feelings from flourishing, she wouldn't be in that situation, would she?

He's been weird all morning and nobody could tell why. And it had already been three days. She was the only one who knew. Had he been less impulsive neither of them would be in that situation. He couldn't look her in the eyes, she realized. Good, because she couldn't look into his either.

Observing discreetly from afar, however? Yes, she could.

And she was; guiltily observing, that is, because three nights before she had wanted him to stay, lay behind her and let her count his kisses down her neck. _Oh_ , she had wanted kisses down her neck. She hadn't acknowledged that before, but while at it, she also wanted to do the kissing, herself. That sure earned another wave of guilt. Malia was literally  _right there_.

"Lydia, you okay?" It was Scott. The concern in his voice was uncalled for. Guilt wasn't that big of a deal, really. She could deal with guilt as long as it wasn't too much. She hoped to the stars that she wouldn't do anything worthy of any more guilt.

"I'm fine." She answered pointedly, lowering her gaze. She would rather he didn't know what that was all about. Lydia wished for a more absentminded Scott, but he was the Alpha, after all. It might fit his job to be so attentive.

"Okay." He said reluctantly.

Kira looked at her otherwise. She stared down her soul knowingly and it shook her, because what the hell did Kira know? No, really, what _did_ she know? The girl was far too insightful on her own innocent looks and trembling speech, which were genuine, sure, but also… disguising. Well, she was a fox- a trickster, that is. Maybe it worked absentmindedly as well.

"Anyone has history now?" She spoke louder than before, aiming for anyone at their table.

"I do." Kira smiled. Lydia suppressed a huff, sure that would lead to some alone time and questions. Kira liked to ask questions. Specially about Stiles.

She had picked up on their situation along the months, be it through worried speeches or unnecessarily intense trading of looks- she just _had_ , and it was enough to make Lydia irritable. She had no answers for Kira's questions, so her interrogations only left Lydia doing some wandering of her own.

"Okay." With a tight smile she stood up, watching Kira do the same. She sent another glance in Stiles' way and this time she caught it. "Let's go."

Her hands ran down her skirt, smoothing it before they went off the short walk to the classroom. Lydia could feel Kira's looming around her as they moved forward and it was displeasing.

"What?!" She finally spoke up, pushing down her instinct for ignoring.

"What's going on now?" Her pace grew slower and so did Lydia's. If they were going to talk, might as well actually look at each other.

"Nothing is going on _now_." She brushed it off quickly. "Or ever, as matter of fact."

"Oh, don't say that." Her whimper was sincere and it pinched Lydia's stomach. People didn't use to _whimper_ over her. "I'm sure things happen between you two." She said chipperly.

"Kira! He has a girlfriend, for gods sake, can you stop this? And don't you even think I'm past you sending him to knock at my door and get me to go out with you weirdos." Her accusatory whispers did nothing put plant a smile on Kira's face. Lydia was peeved by her inability of putting Kira off. It was like another Scott and she could only take so much positivity.

"But it worked, didn't it? Because you _like_ him." She nodded in agreement to herself. Lydia could not believe Kira sometimes. Nor where her fondness for her came from.

"I do _not_!" With a gasp, she completely stopped walking.

But she did. She just hated hearing someone else saying it to her. It made things so real.

"It's okay to like him, you know?"

"Oh my god, do you even acknowledge Malia's existence? I thought you were friends or something."

People walked around the hallway, watching he heated conversation and Lydia crossed her arms and stared them down until they went back to minding their own business.

"I do! But there's something, Lydia. You know there is. And it was there before."

"Well, that doesn't matter now, does it? Stop making a big deal out of this. We're all working against it, believe me." This time she huffed and walked away. She didn't need encouragements. She needed the opposite.

_

 

The classes went by fast enough. At least before she encountered Stiles at the chem lab. He looked her head to toe and smiled sweetly. She hopped that wasn't his version of flirting, but it made her face tingle in shamed hotness, regardless.

She cursed him and his seemingly new-found-love for texts when he sent one her way.

 

**U avoiding me?**

**\- Stiles**

 

She sighed, looking up at the teacher. How long until they got caught?

 

**Stiles, I would very much like to stay out of detention, please stop texting me**

**\- Lydia**

 

A frustrated groan came from behind her.

 

**That's a yes isnt it? i'm sorry for yesterday**

**\- Stiles**

Sorry. He was _sorry_. She snorted.

 

**Stop. texting. me.**

**\- Lydia**

 

He obeyed.

When the class was over he didn't wait for her, leaving before she could even catch another glimpse of him. Lydia ignored the clench in her heart and went about her day like she was supposed to. The classes were over and she was glad, because a nap sounded heavenly just about now.

It was easy to swallow feelings by now, she had gotten really good at it. Biting back tears does that to a person.

On her bed she thought of a better life, like she always did. It scared her that a Fields Medal, an apartment in a big city and a teaching job at Harvard, or even Stanford, had gained a Stiles as collection. She knew he wasn't there before, but she wasn't quite sure when he'd made his way in there either.

Her eyes snapped open with the buzzing of her phone. It was already dark then. She wanted to break the damned device.

It was Scott.

"This better be life or death." She muttered.

_"What happened?"_

"You're the one calling me!"

_"Stiles broke up with Malia and isn't returning my calls. Is he there?"_

The air was gone from her lungs. _Stiles did what?_ , Lydia stayed quiet for more than a few seconds, swallowing the news. _He did what?_ , her heart pounded wildly against her chest, Scott could hear, she knew. _What?_ , hell, at that rate the whole population of were-things could probably hear her.

"He did what?" She sounded as breathless as she was.

 _"Oh, shit,"_ He cursed, which was unlike him, surprisingly. As a teenage boy that should've been embodied in his language. It wasn't. _"you didn't know."_

"Wait, why did you think he was here?" She frowned, getting up. Laying was unsettling and it felt wrong.

_"It just seemed logical, I guess."_

"It's not. It's not logical, Scott. You and your girlfriend need to stop! There's nothing going on between us!" Lydia couldn't stop her anger from dripping off of her tongue. She didn't know why they were being like that. Couldn't they see she was trying to walk away from it? Weren't they so fucking perceptive?

 _"But he's your friend."_ He sounded hurt.

Lydia closed her eyes and sighed, glad she couldn't see him. That would've made her feel worse.

"I know. I'm sorry." Her fingers traced the pattern on her vanity. "He's not here. How do you know about what he did it? Did he _text_ you?"

 _"Yeah."_ He answered and she sighed, impatient.

"Unbelievable."

 

_

 

She wished she could say Scott hadn't forecasted, but he did. When her bell rang she knew who it was. Lydia tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and sent one too many gulps of water down her throat. She had been awaiting him.

"Hey." When she opened the door he stared at her with a sad smile on his lips. Lydia didn't know how she should interpret that. She had little likes for not knowing things.

He walked in.

"Hi." She bit her bottom lip sitting down on her couch. Her mother wasn't home this time so they could take all the space they wanted.

"I did something."

"I know."

The look on his face was like a punch into hers. Sad and tired. He was so tired. How had she not seen that before? Was it there already? Before she could spiral into wonder he spoke again.

"I didn't do it for you." Stiles explained slowly. She widened her eyes. Were they being direct now? If so, good, because their silent communication could get off-putting after a while. "I just couldn't see it going anywhere but a stupid triangle or a big fight or whatever." He waved it off like it was nothing.

"I understand." And it was true. The growing lump in her throat said that much. She understood. That meant she couldn't have him now and it wasn't alright, but it was better than before.

"Were you angry before?"

"Yes." Lydia swallowed. "Your visit was wrong and you know that. I shouldn't be the one watching for your relationship. That's not my job."

"I know- I know that." Stiles mumbled with a frown. "I couldn't stop myself, though. You've been acting so weird, it's bad when you're… distant."

"Bad?"

"Yeah, bad. Like Death Star bad, getting caught with drugs bad. Bad, Lydia. _Bad_ _._ "

"I'm not distant!" She said defensively. He did nothing but stare. The girl sighed, looking elsewhere. "Okay, maybe I've been a little absent, but you're being dramatic. We attend the same school and eat lunch together like normal functioning teenagers." Even her blink was dismissive. He moved in his seat.

"You know what I mean, though, stop being so evasive. We were close after… everything. And then you just walked away." Stiles shook his head negatively. "I meant it when I said we need you, you know? Because we do. I don't think I can do this without you, Lyds. You need to stop whatever it is that you're doing and come back to me because things are getting harder and I can take easier any time now, if I'm being honest"

"Stiles there wasn't a place for me anymore." She blurted out unwillingly. She went through a speech in her head everyday, because she knew they would ask her eventually. But she couldn't quite place the words now, when his gaze pierced through hers. "I'm sorry." She said quietly, hoping that got the message across. She was sorry she had to shut down in order to rebuild herself. And it wasn't even selfish of her, really, everyone heals the way they can, but she didn't know what was too much for a _pack_. So she felt apologetic for that, because maybe open was all that worked. But open wouldn't have done it for her.

"There's always place for you, Lyds, c'mon. You're like, original formation, okay? There's always solid ground for you. You're essential and all that." He grabbed her hand, caressing her gently, then pulled her closer. "You're Lydia fucking Martin." Stiles completed, making her laugh.

"Damn right, I am." Her voice was small, but she felt a little better.

He hugged her by the shoulders and they stayed like that a while. Lydia wanted to know what he was thinking about, but didn't have the heart to ask. She wasn't sure she wasn't ready for another heart-to-heart and it was hard to tell if the was thinking about the meaning of life or something unrelated.

"What do we do now?" He asked, surprising her.

"I thought you came here to tell me that." She shrugged.

"I came in the hopes you'd tell me. Who's the genius?"

"Well, I'm no expert in human relations, am I?" That rolling of eyes came way too easy to her.

"Good thing we're pretty good at figuring stuff out." He said softly.

"That we are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, this is not the last chapter. And I kinda realize it looks like that. But it's not, promise.
> 
> Also I'm sorry about not properly writing the break up? I just can't even imagine Stiles doing that and I sincerely don't know how Malia would react so it just would've been a crazy disaster, I'm clearly not ready for writing that just yet.


	5. Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, cuties, here's a small one for ya, hopefully the next one will be longer, sorryyy.

The internet was filled with academic works and articles about friendship, explaining from the stimulation of the brain to the the benefits in human health. According to one of the archives, friendships were, usually, held by people who saw each other constantly. Good. Friendship was _good._

Lydia repeated that mantra to herself with religiousness and clung to it like there was not tomorrow, because, dear god, she was about to fall off the edge of control.

“I don’t think this is right…” Stiles commented lowly, laying on her bed. He faced the notepad full of equations with a frown. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down and she observed it carefully. _Friendship’s good._ “Lydia?” The boy looked up at her and all she saw was long lashes and deep, brown eyes. Maybe her gaze fell over skin-pink lips and caught his tongue’s quick caress over it. That’s unimportant.

Lydia cleared her throat briefly and rolled the chair from the desk to Stiles.

“Uhm, no, here…” She scribbled over what he had written before, fixing the problem. “You forgot the subtraction.”

“Ooooh. Okay. Yeah, I get it.” He chuckled. “Can I borrow your brain for the test?”

“Maybe you should find your own.” She quirked an eyebrow up and he rolled eyes at her.

Lydia tried recalling the last time he had been lying on her bed just like that, but it was useless effort. He had ever been in there so comfortably. She was glad things were like that now. She’d missed him and, to be frank, he’d spent more time in her house for the past two weeks than anywhere else, so things were falling back into place.

“This is the last one, thank god!” The boy groaned.

“You barely made any mistakes. You’ll do fine on the test.” She beamed, rolling the chair back to her desk. While Stiles had been studying algebra, she had been flipping through a quantum mechanics book from her community college’s class. Stiles had made fun of it’s size, first thing after he crossed her door.

“Well, I _do_ have an amazing teacher.” He smirked happily. Even though that made his eyes small adorably, Lydia remembered that friendship’s good… and she was fine with it.

“True.” She went back to turning her attention to the book on the desk again. Her hair fell like a curtain beside her, which stopped her from peeking at him every now and then.

“Let’s go grab something to eat.”

“Stiles you just ate, like, an hour ago.” She turned back.

“Are you judging my teenage boy metabolism?” Stiles narrowed his eyes at her. “And not only that, also Big Bad fighter of the night metabolism.”

Lydia snorted.

“Big Bad fighter of the night?” She mocked. “How about Big Bad researcher of the crack of dawn?” She offered and he seemed to reflect on it.

“I’ll take it.” He shrugged, getting up. Lydia blinked slowly, having a hard time believing he wanted to eat again.

“We have chocolate chip cookies and popcorn.”

+

“Second door to the left.” Lydia instructed from the counter. Stiles was on the oposite side of the kitchen, searching through the cupboard.

“Are sure you need this much cereal?” He had three boxes on his hands. Lydia shrugged.

“That’s not mine.”

“Your mom’s?” He asked in disbelief.

“Nasty addiction.” She looked at him dead in the eyes. His mouth gaped open. “Well, it’s not cocaine!” She frowned.

“This is bad for your health.” He threw the boxes back inside the cupboard. “So are all these snacks- do you even own normal food?”

“Oh, shut up and get the cookies already.”

“Fine, fine. When your heart dilates or something, don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.”

Stiles took the cookies and walked towards her, sitting by her side.

“That’s not what sugary treats do.” She pointed out absently, taking a cookie from the box.

“What?”

“It causes higher blood triglyceride levels, decreases levels of the good HDL cholesterol and could contribute to inflammation and oxidative stress.” Lydia explained calmly. “I could develop a heart disease, but it’s dilatation wouldn’t be the problem… unless I had american trypanosomiasis.”

“Trypa- trypin- wha-?”

“American trypanosomiasis, you know, from the kissing bug? Chagas disease?”

“I _didn’t_ know, for your information, but now I’m definitely staying away from kissing bugs.”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea.” Lydia nodded. “Stay away from the kissing bugs, run with wolves.” She chuckled. “Clever.”

“I run with banshees, too.”

“Plural? How dare you!” She nudged him, eating one more cookie. Stiles laughed and grabbed her hand carefully.

“I’m sorry, I would never. Running with one banshee only. Forever.” He smiled sweetly, eyes wide open falling onto hers. Stiles caressed her palm gently with his fingertips, drawing circles carefully like she was made of silk. She wondered if her eyes could tell like his- they’d be singing in adoration, if so. He was so close, inches away, really, if she would just lean in...

_Friendship’s good. Friendship’s good._

“You better.” With a lopsided smile she turned away in the slightest, taking another damned cookie. She heard the boy sigh.

“I should go home.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “It’s eight p.m. already, I took all your afternoon bliss time, sorry Lyds.” Stiles smirked, sliding off of the chair. “I’ll just grab my things.”

The boy disappeared into the living room and she heard his steps on the stair.

Lydia breathed deeply three or four times, who knows? There was a suggestion tight on her throat and it burned to be freed.

 _No_ _._ She couldn’t have that happen.

So when Stiles came back down, she kept her tongue inside her mouth. Contemplating alternatives and counter effects, but still, shut. Even if she thought of strategies of how to fit him in her room without sharing the bed. Even if she foresaw her mother’s reaction. Even if her brain ran the possibility like an algorithm- she was still silent.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Stiles’ hand touched the handle when he winked at her. _What the fuck was that?_ , she asked herself, inhaling a sharp breath. _Friendship, friendship, friendsh-_

“Or you could stay.” Lydia blurted out in a high pitched voice, holding that desperate breath right after. “Friends do that, right? We could watch a movie.” She asked lightly, pursing her lips.

Stiles stared at her, puzzled, and she wished he’d stop, because blushing furiously was not on her plans at all for today. His fingers flickered over the doorknob almost in the same rhythm Lydia’s heart pounded against her chest. Incessantly.

He wasn’t pondering, she realized. That wasn’t his calculative expression, that was something else. It bothered her she didn’t know what.

“They do.” He nodded, swallowing hard. “And we’re friends. Right? I mean, we’re best friends, really.” Stiles shrugged, not breaking the eye-contact.

_Friendship’s good._

“Yes.” Lydia let out a shaky breath, feeling her fingers grow cold. There was no reason to be that nervous, and yet her body was preparing her for escape.

“I’ll go by midnight.” He came closer.

“Or tomorrow.” She tilted her head, trying to pinpoint where exactly those words were coming from and why she couldn’t stop them from finding their way out.

“Shit.” Stiles _grunted_. Lydia understood what that meant as the tension build up in the room. What was the mantra, again? She couldn't remember it when Stiles put his hand on his hips and bit his bottom lip in reflection. The boy sighed sternly and she motioned for a step closer as well. “I think it’s better if I go.” His sentence broke through her, making her body stay still. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Her voice was mellow as she watched him hold the doorknob tighter than before, twisting it decisively. “Goodnight, Stiles.”

“Night, Lyds.” He smiled sadly, eyes bright.

_Friendship kinda sucks._


	6. Turn Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I took a long time to post this, didn't I? So, so sorry. Also sorry that this isn't even near to big and I'm not that happy about it, but not updating was kinda driving me crazy so there. Have a nice read!

He couldn’t believe he was driving away. That was insane. He was insane and wanted to punch himself.

Lydia didn’t appear at the door after he closed it behind him, and really, he didn’t expect her too, but that would’ve been some sort of nice reassurance that she didn’t want to kill him as much as he’d like to kill himself.

Stiles stopped the car. He could go back if he wanted to- just knock on the door and apologize for being so chicken and having terrible, _terrible_ manners, while holding her against him, inhaling next to her hair. It smelled like peaches today and it was driving Stiles crazy because the aroma of peaches shouldn’t be appealing in _that_ way.

He started the car again.

No. He left for a reason - _what reason?_ \- and now he needed someone to enhance that sense of strong will, because he couldn’t stop himself from coming back all night long. He needed Scott. Scott understood things. Well, okay, not really, but he usually nodded and went along with Stiles’ ideas or requests, so he was the go-to person. Also, bestfriend, brother and Alpha.

It wasn’t such a long distance from Lydia’s to Scott’s, but god, the paths for return were just _calling_ for him and it was so hard to get past them. Stiles whimpered and sighed repeatedly as he thought of what could’ve happened if he had stayed. He shook his head negatively to get away from those thoughts, but that was not how it worked. He had her image stuck inside his brain and she looked just like when he left her there, with a disappointed expression- hurt. He did that. All him. By himself.

“Fucking shit,” He muttered under his breath.Stiles was tense all over just thinking about how he would have to fix that as soon as possible and not having any idea of how to do it.

But for now he only needed a talk to Scott.

“Scott?” He said, climbing off of the car. “Yo, Scottie? Open the door.”

Scott showed up from his bedroom window and the view took Stiles back to the night he went to see Lydia uninvited. He winced absently.

Scott was putting a shirt on, looking confused.

“Stiles? Something happen?” He asked loud enough that Stiles could hear his panting.

“Kinda, yeah.” The boy answered quickly, skipping to a more important point, as it seemed. “Uh, what are you doing?”

“I was just…” He looked back, smiling a little.

“Oh my god, is Kira there?” Stiles whined. He sounded as disturbed as he was. It was actually surprising it hadn’t happened before. Scott smiled sympathetically. “Jesus…” He whispered.

“It’s okay, I’ll open the door.”

Stiles was going to say no, because he wanted to be a good friend. But being selfish was so inviting and he could really use the help. So when Scott opened the door he got in silently, glad he didn’t bring the key, otherwise the turn of events would’ve been flying higher levels of embarrassing.

“So, what’s up? Are you okay?” Scott’s concern was perceptive and it made Stiles smile slightly, asking himself how did he even find someone like that in the first place.

“I just did something really dumb. But also really sane, my brain tells me, and I need to talk to you about it.”

“Can I join?” Kira asked, climbing down the stairs. She wore a smile alike Scott’s, ready to help at all times. Sometimes their optimism was exasperating but Stiles sure could used it right now.

“Yes! Definitely, girl advice from a girl, great.” Stiles praised. “We should sit.” He announced, spotting the couch and pointing at it. “You know when like wild things happen and you’re like ‘whoa didn’t see that coming’?” He looked at the both of them, plopping down one couch as they sat on another, facing him. They looked between each other for a second, frowning and flashed their colorful-glowing eyes at him. “Right, yeah… you know.” He sighed. “But anyways… I was at Lydia's today, alright? And we were just casually studying and eating cookies, you know, human/Banshee, pretty PG stuff..." He nodded, asking for agreement- which he was given. "And I had to leave because it was late, alright? So, I'm grabbing my things, ready to leave and she asks me to stay… _over."_

“Oh my god, yes! Stiles!” Kira squealed, getting up excitedly and punching Scott in the shoulder with as backlash-like movement. “What did I say? _What_ did I say?” The girl asked aggressively.

“Hey, I’m not disagreeing.” Scott smiled happily at her and her face dropped.

“Oh, right.” Her look bounced between both the boys and she sat down again. “Sorry.” She muttered.

“Yeah, great, fun.” Stiles smiled sarcastically at his friends exchange. “Except I’m here.” He finished, getting a confused look from them. He rolled his eyes. “Because I said ‘no’, guys? Seriously, keep up.”

“I don’t get it.” Scott narrowed his eyes. “Is something wrong? Are you sick?” He asked sincerely.

Kira looked like she was on the verge of a heart attack and Stiles didn’t like that she was, in what looked like, _seriously damaging_ attack position herself.

“No, I’m not sick!” He said defensively. “I just didn't know what to do! I can't risk this."

“Of course you can! Why couldn’t you? Why _didn’t_ you?” Kira groaned, throwing her head back as if she were exhausted.

“Hey, I just got out of a relationship, okay? I don’t think I’m emotionally ready for another.”

“So you’re being chicken?” Scott handed it to him and he nodded. So _there_ was his reason. Huh.

“Yes, very much so, what do I do?”  Stiles clapped his palms together, squinting.

“Did you just leave? Like, walked away?” He asked smoothly. Stiles questioned Scott’s ability to ever be judgy of anything.

“Yes. And it was worse than it sounds.” He said plainly. “Just lay it on me, dude. How much redeeming will it take?”

“I’ll never forgive you.” Kira said wholeheartedly.

“Babe, it’s okay, calm down.” Scott stroked her arm carefully as he hugged her by the shoulders. Stiles looked at her like she was crazy, because, well… “I don’t understand, man, you’ve been wanting this for so long.”

“Yeah, but then I took a step back, didn’t I?” He placed his elbows on his knees, looking down- interlacing his fingers together in an attempt to keep himself from fidgeting. “And I completely forgot about her for like, two weeks, Scott…” He looked up at them again. "And how do I know this is even gonna work? What if it falls apart and then we're not even friends anymore? God, this is so cliche, it's every teen romantic movie ever." His voice lowered as he finished the sentence. “How’s she supposed to trust me again? She was right there and I just-” Stiles shook his head slightly. “I was... busy.”

“Don’t blame yourself for having a life that doesn’t revolve around her, man.” Scott’s voice was almost a whisper. Kira nodded slowly. “You’re there now.” He smiled. “I mean, you’re here, but… there.”

“Yeah.” Stiles chuckled.

“You should be there, though.” Kira stressed. “I mean there instead of here.” She mused. “I mean there _physically_ there!”

“That’s true.”

Silence settled between them briefly. The couple looked as Stiles with expectancy.

“Oh, you mean I should go now?” He got up quickly. “Wait, are you just saying that so you can go back to your business?”

“Stiles, go!” That was almost a growl from Scott.

“Fine, geez!”

 

_

 

It didn’t even feel like he had left when he was back at her door. He knew the pattern so well from when he had to take several breaths before actually knocking. It was funny that he was going almost a year back in time, repeating the ritual once more. The circumstances were too different to give him that logging feeling, however, so that Stiles was trapped in the back of his mind when he finally knocked.

It had been only forty minutes, if he wasn’t mistaken. Was it too much time? Too little? He couldn’t determine if there was a better or a worse hour to show up apologizing for being a coward.

“Who is it?” Lydia asked from the inside.

“Abominable Snowman.”

“Stiles?” She gasped, opening up. She glared at him for a for a few seconds, then recomposed herself. “Did you forget something?”

"Yeah, I forgot to be a decent person, apparently." He snorted. Lydia looked at him blankly. "Look, I'm sorry I walked off, okay? I just… I don't know how to do this," Stiles ran his hands through his face trying to think clearer. It was hard when the girl he loved stood waiting. There was so much to be said, but words were unable to compartmentalize the things he meant for her to know. Sure, he was good at talking, but mostly he wasn't saying things that mattered.

This mattered.

"It's you, you know? I can't give myself the luxury of fucking this up. It's you, it has to be perfect timing and- I- this isn't-" He shook his head, averting his eyes.

"Stiles, shut up." Lydia huffed and her eyes shone like the see under the sunlight. She was ridiculously flawless and it was so hard to keep up.

Stiles still asked himself how she managed to look like the whole world had to ask her for permission to even just _be_ _._ Lydia could guard heaven's door for all he knew (heaven should be grateful, if he happened to be right). The girl touched his chest, tugging his shirt. Stiles' heart raced.

"I don't want perfect, I want _you_ _._ " She complained. "And you keep denying me it." A step closer was taken. "I don't like being denied." Lydia completed at ease, like things had just unraveled with a solution in front of her.

When she kissed him this time his whole world wasn't crashing down. Still, taken aback, it felt like he was about to pass out. Fortunately the traveling of Lydia's hand up the back of his neck had an awakening effect, making things vivid. He stopped his slight throbbing _everywhere_ in his body the best he could, determined to make the best out of that, already somewhat mind blowing, situation. Stiles took a grip of Lydia and tightened it, investing on the kiss with everything he had. She deserved everything. She deserved more than he could ever dream to give her.

"Are you sure about this?" Stiles asked, a panting mess of swollen lips and boggled mind. Lydia wasted no time, placing sinful kisses under his jaw.

"Yes." She answered him before pulling the boy inside and closing that damned door. "I rarely do things I'm not sure about." Lydia gave him a warm look- it spoke differently from her body, which touched him in unholy ways. Or extremely holy. It's all a matter of point of view, after all, isn't it? "I want this, Stiles." She nodded, brushing her lips upon his. "I'm just angry you kept me waiting." Lydia pulled away. "Now, stop asking me questions. I'm busy."


	7. Before The Sun Comes Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, alright I took way too long with this but the elections were happening and like, there's smut and my paranoid self cannot just write this anywhere even if my country's first language isn't english. What if they know? Anyways, here it is, I'm dropping the explicit bomb on you guys because I felt like they should have late second round sex and the world should see them getting down to business. This is as irrelevant to the plot as sex can be, so I'm kinda sorry about that. But not entirely. Okay, bye.

Lydia woke up fluttering heavy lids, memories floating lightly like a fog rounding her head. She remembered his lips brushing down her clavicle, hands reaching down her lips, making her gasp and whisper lowly and greedily in his ear. Stiles was careful with her, scared she'd change her mind at some point, but she had made sure he knew she was in just as deep as he was. Just the thought of him made her absently sigh- so there was no telling how she was handling herself when his arms were around her like that, his bare chest covering her back entirely. The girl slid carefully onto her other side, wanting to see him.

There was nothing there she didn’t know, from the eyebrows to the lips. That serenity maybe, but all of it was so familiar.

She touched him, tracing her fingers lightly down his cheek and wished things could be always like that, in bliss, just waiting for the sun to come up slowly, giving them a whole new day to enjoy themselves. Unfortunately they were mostly running for their lives and plotting their ways out of supernatural debacles… not always succeeding.

“Heeey,” Stiles said lazily, voice low and dragging.

“Hi.” Lydia answered shyly, slightly lifting her knees, ready to take her hand back. Stiles stopped her before she could.

“S’okay.” That’s all he said.

He squeezed her hand quietly, moving forward. Lydia looked up at him with a lump forming on her throat. _No, it’s not the time._

“It’s okay.” He reassured her again before grabbing her hand and kissing it gently.

“I know.” She nodded, opening one small smile.

It was better than she could’ve bargained for in such a time- the whole situation. Months ago she would’ve been perfect, but things were broken now and all she had to offer him was her broken self, fixing through stumbles one day after the other.

“Sun’s not out yet.” His remark made her look up to the window. It was dark outside, as dark as it gets before the crack of dawn. “Why are you up?” He kissed her forehead before pulling her closer against him. “You ok?”

“Yeah.” She smiled sincerely, feeling like the morning sorrow was running down the drain. “I guess… hyperfunctional brain?” The girl answered questioningly and Stiles glared at her before completely ignoring the answer.

“Could it be me?” He suggested, shrugging when she gave him a scolding look. “Maybe you’re not okay sleeping with me.”

“Is that really the conclusion you jumped into first?” Lydia snorted. “You’re an idiot.” She bit gently him on his side, right above his ribs.  

“Wh-Ouch!” He made her a face. “Oh my god, you can’t just do that, Lydia!”

“If you’re being stupid I can.” The girl frowned. “I loved sleeping with you.” She said with a small smile, then kissed the bitten spot, already red and a little swollen.

“Oh, did you now?” Stiles smirked. “How much? On a scale one to ten?” He looked down with anticipation, stroking her arm calmly. “Or not, I mean- you can get creative, it’s your scale.” The corner of his lips curved down as she shrugged again.

“I’m not rating your sex skills.” She rolled her eyes.

 _“What?_ _”_ He gasped. “I was talking about my cuddling and lack of snoring!” The boy broke out of his position, flipping over so he could straddle her. “What’s this perversion? It’s so uncalled for.” He squinted.

Lydia snorted and then chuckled, readying herself for the full on laughter that came afterwards.

“You are so ridiculous!” She placed both her hands on his chest, her laugh turning into smaller and smaller giggles until she was left with just an adoring smile. “You’re beautiful.” Lydia finished. The words unraveled spontaneously, rigging inside the boy's ears like they were the sweetest song.

His elbows seemed to falter over the her affirmation, messing with his steadiness, forcing him to adjust his palms again on the mattress. He swallowed hard under her gaze, watching her expression grow peaceful. She looked at him like she meant every word she had just said. And more.

She looked at him like he had just discovered the universe wrapped in reason, then given it to her- like he looked at her.

“You stole my line.” He whispered sweetly.

“It’s applicable.” She retorted, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down. He was heavy over her, but she didn’t mind one bit. “Besides, you can’t appropriate yourself of such a common sentence.” Lydia finishes, asking herself how was she so good at keeping herself from correcting people back in the day. Stiles chuckles.

“Janice’s running gag was ‘oh my god’.” He argues, kissing the spot under her earlobe.

“‘You’re beautiful’ is neither  _a_ nor _your_ running gag.” Lydia closed her eyes feeling his lips warm on her skin. “Running gags are- uh-” Stiles bit down gently on her neck, slightly pulling the skin. _“_ _Ah-_ they’re jokes.” She stated. “I w-wasn’t joking.” She arches to his touch when he runs his thumb over her nipple.

“Me neither.” And with that he covered her lips with his, licking his way into a full kiss. He was unmethodical and sloppy at first, straightening himself into it with time, but Lydia couldn't get enough of it. His tongue was hot and hungry, searching for hers incessantly. There was something about the way sucked on her bottom lip like he didn't even mean to that made something click inside her, like a line of knots starting to uncoil at painfully slow pace.

She wanted to rip them all apart.

That's what she had in mind as she forced herself up and tried to flip positions, but her plans flew out the window when Stiles's hand pressed her down by the ribs, pinning her to the mattress. His hand was right under her left breast and he took advantage of that, running a thumb over her nipple. She arched into his touched, still feeling it sore from earlier, when Stiles wouldn't give it a rest.

"It's still-" She choked on her words, breaking out from the kiss when he swirled the spot between his fingers.

"I know." He answered shortly, licking his bottom lip as he watched his own work. "It's just… you're so sensitive." His voice was low and eyebrows slightly furrowed before he pinched her, causing her to yelp.

"Stiles! This is not Dora the explorer, just get on with it!" Lydia snapped and he laughed lightly.

"But I want it to be." The boy protested. "Minus the random spanish sentences and awkward silences between translations." He mused. The boy hovered and started for just a few seconds too long, drunk on just her image. "I want to know every inch of you, Lydia." He breathed out, overwhelmed by the sight. "Will you let me?" Stiles looked up at her with expectation, searching for a positive reaction as if his own life depended on it. Lydia found no flaw whatsoever in his proposal, which led to compulsive nodding from her side after a while and, after that, pinches from his.

"Sti-ah-, alright I think we've established w-" Her words died out when he reached for her nipple with his mouth and sucked on it. _Hard._ He latched on it, running circles around it with his tongue before sucking some more. It burned in the best way possible. Lydia leaned upwards more and more by the second, but Stiles pushed her down accordingly, now supporting himself by the elbow.

"Do you think your can..." He said questioningly, blowing air on the place he was just on, causing her to shiver. Lydia looked down at him after a second of getting herself together.

"Say the words." She asked, though it sounded a lot like a command - and it made his length twitch between his legs. He didn't know why, but hoped she didn't notice, since it touched her thigh.

She noticed.

"Do you, uhm..." Stiles starts, unable to look her in the eyes. "Do you think you could come from it?" He finished and Lydia smirked calmly, even if not looking as unaffected as she probably meant to.

"Unlikely." She answered sincerely, anchoring herself onto him before moving upwards slightly, looking for a way to tease his cock. "But possible. _And_ it classifies as exploring." She remarked. Her movement finally worked when Stiles jolted over her, griping to her leg and shutting his eyes instinctively. The boy groaned briefly then closed his lips between his teeth.

"We could try it later." He suggested, running a finger through her slit. Lydia moved downwards this time, following Stiles' finger as he searched for her entrance.

"Later sounds perfect." She remarked before feeling his tongue on her neck. He started working his fingers around her folds, flicking the sensitive edges before running his indicator through her clit. He pressed it gently, then harder, and she responded promptly, motioning her hips towards him. Stiles kissed her again, stealing away her attention from his movements down south for just a second before he slipped one finger inside her, feeling her walls wrapping him in a welcoming clench. She bit down his bottom lip unapologetically and moaned against his mouth.

"Lyds, you feel..." He didn't conclude, instead just keeping their foreheads together after breaking the kiss, continuing to adjust into a more comfortable position.

"Another." She demanded before he even started moving, foreseeing agony. There was a feeling of anticipation buried inside her, making her think of the knots again. She wanted foreplay, but wanted to curl her body against his and go back to sleep. She wanted it to last forever, but she needed it to be over.

"Already?" Stiles rasped after he descended down her neck, now placing kisses in the spot between her breasts.

"Just do it!" And he obeyed, lifting his head so he could see it when she threw hers back. He started thrusting his fingers back and forth lightly, rubbing her clit slowly with his thumb. Too slowly. "Faster." She mumbled. Suddenly he seemed annoyed at her commands, slamming his fingers inside as hard as he could, pressing down her clit as he did it, then rubbing it sternly. Lydia would've been verbal about it, but it was hard when her teeth were sunk down his shoulder, holding onto him by his arms. She had found out he was better than she had anticipated. And the statement stood on various points. Like the talent with his fingers. She had realized they were long and lean, yes, but there was no way she could've foreseen the way the curled inside her in heavenly ways. They were both frustrated when he couldn't find her g-spot earlier. That didn't seem to be much of a problem now.

Stiles bent his knuckles inside her and pulled them out slowly, hitting the spot. Lydia stiffen her grip around him and arched back once more, opening her mouth in a silent scream. He was back on her breast and it was hard to breathe with his fingers filling her in and him alternating between nibbling and sucking her nipple. He added a third and she had to still herself so she wouldn't squirm.

"Stiles, c'mon." She ran her nails up his back, closing her eyes.

"No," He let her go, face blushed, "you can do it like this."

"No, please, just-" She sobbed embarrassingly. Her body boiled inside and she was so close. _"Fuck,_ Stiles..."

She needed him and he was denying her again.

He looked down once more, like he needed to pay attention closely, then concentrated on thrusting at an even pace. He was driving Lydia over the edge. She felt the somewhat dull pleasure sinking down her core and growing hotter by the second. So close. But she didn't want it like that.

"You can do it again." It was like he read her mind. "C'mon, Lyds, it's okay." He soothed her seriously, flicking his gaze between her face and her depth, speaking at ease as if his fingers weren't working her open at the same time. "Come for me." He kissed her jaw lightly and repeatedly. "Let go."

And that she did. Her legs trembled around him as she held on tighter, not bothering to smother her moans, and her hips jerked erratically while Stiles rubbed her clit frantically. Her walls clenched around him persistently forcing his fingers out. Her ears ringed and she stopped mid swallow, feeling a groan leave her throat as she came down to earth under goosebumps and glassy eyes. She pushed his hand away and pulled him for a kiss. She hoped to fit a thank you and a scold into it, to let him know how she felt.

“If you say no now…” She warned him weakly. Stiles snorted, positioning himself.

“I would never.” He said under his breath. Lydia was ready to remind him of how he had just done it, but other words slipped out.

“I wanna be on top.” She looked up at him, demanding. “Switch.”

Stiles looked lost for a second, changing drastically from the motions of his sexually driven self, into confused teenage boy.

“Just, sit up, babe.” Lydia said calmly, trying to situate him. It worked. He smiled lopsidedly, giving her the space she needed to sit up herself. Once he settled, back against the headboard of her bed, she saw him whole and bare, waiting for her to make a move. The fluttering feeling on her stomach could swallow her at any moment now, as she admired him from the little distance they were from each other. She watched him closely before going forward, straddling him, knees on the mattress. “Is this okay?” She asked softly. It was the first time she cared to do so. Stiles drew out a shaky breath, hands flying onto her waist.

“Yeah, it’s-uh, it’s perfect, yeah.” He babbled absently. Lydia smiled to herself, taking his length in her hand and stroking it just a handful of times before she leaned against the boy, positioning herself over him and descended slowly, proceeding to fill herself in. “Oh my god…” Stiles breathed heavily, sinking his head in the crook of her neck. “I was wrong.” He mumbled. Lydia finished coming down, moving her hips back and forth once he was completely inside her. Stiles hissed. “This’s perfect.” He slurred then kissed her everywhere he could reach without moving too much, feeling it delightfully when she rocked up and down for the first time in the position. He kept supporting the redhead by the waist, coordinating her pace, but that didn’t last too long. Lydia grabbed Stiles’ hands and guided them firmly onto to her ass cheeks.

“Better.” She said shortly and he nodded, sleeping a little on the headboard so he had a better grip on her, helping her move more freely. Her hands rested on his shoulder as she moved over him and it was a heavenly sight. Her lips parted, breasts bouncing to her rhythm and hair falling everywhere. She cursed under breath and bit her bottom lip compulsively. It drove Stiles insane. Hadn’t he been hard as rock as she swallowed him willingly, he’d declare her love for her with a thousand words, maybe a sonnet or something cheesy from an old book. She’d know anything he tried to present, he was aware. But he wasn’t sure about his speech abilities at the moment, especially when she rocked harder, making his leg twitch in the slightest. “Your turn.” Lydia smiled and kissed him full on the mouth. Stiles found her hot breath intoxicating, like the she smelled like both of them right now. He couldn't help but thrust at this point, trying to meet her halfway when she came down forcefully, a panting mess over him.

“Fuck, Lyds, feel so good.” The words came uninvited, maybe a response to Lydia’s moans against his skin.”You feel so good.” Stiles grunted, breath hitching. “I’m gonna come.” He said rapidly. With that Lydia let go of one of his shoulders only to run her hand down her stomach and start touching herself again. “Wha-” Stiles looked at her questioningly when she moved with urgency, catching her motion. He wheezed, watching her like it was his last chance on earth. And then it was too hard to take. He huffed feeling the peak of his pleasure hit him, filling him quickly and he thrust roughly, reaching for release and finally shooting his load right then. Lydia Arched back in front of him, letting out a yelp when he filled her up.

Stiles’ head fell back heavily and he didn’t mind it one bit when it hit the headboard harder than he should’ve let it. Lydia chuckled breathlessly, hazy from her own orgasm, feeling strangely boneless as Stiles hugged her and flipped them to the side, pulling out in the process.

“D’you think we should talk?” The boy’s hand caressed her waist blissfully, looking like the world this was the best world to be. Still, Lydia still could catch the concern in his voice.

“Eventually.” She nodded. “We should worry about cleaning ourselves up right now.” The girl smiled. “We’re absolutely disgusting.”

“Oh, but we’re covered in all the layers of looove making.” Stiles teased, dragging the word ‘love’. It was nice to hear him say that, Lydia thought.

“Not, we’re covered in all the layers of unprotected sex.” She retorted, rolling her eyes. Stiles gasped immediately, eyes widening in horror. “No, no freak outs Stiles. I’m on the pill, remember? Always. We talked about it earlier.” Lydia stressed. “Stop it. Relax, it’s gonna be fine.” She coaxed him, stroking his arm slowly.

“Okay, alright.” He inhaled and exhaled sharply, trying to calm himself down. “Whoa, please never say that again.” The boy pleaded. “I just sounds really incriminating, regardless.”

“Ugh, you’re such a baby.”

“No, not baby, Lydia, oh my god!” Stiles flinched. “Are you actively trying to kill me?”

“I might be considering it now.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“That’s not very nice afterglow talk.”

“That’s because you’re being ridiculous.”

“I thought I was beautiful.” He smirked and she hit him playfully on the shoulder.

“They can co-exist as unrelated characteristics, you jerk.” Lydia frowned, shoving him. He smiled at her before his eyes drifted to a taller spot behind her. “What?” She turned slightly.

“The sun’s coming up.” He nodded, signaling towards the window’s view. The sky was sprinkled in orange and pink color shades, mixing gracefully with the morning’s light blue. That was Lydia’s favorite time of the day, right after the few minutes before dawn, so she settled after turning to the window’s side, settling herself against Stiles again, so they were back where they started. It was a perfect slice of time. “Good morning, Lyds.” Stiles whispered sleepily.

“Good morning.”


	8. Breathe In, Breathe Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay, let's talk for a bit, shall we?
> 
> Yes, I vanished (boo, you whore) and I'm really, reeeeeally sorry, but there wasn't actually much I could do about it? Call it major block and a shit ton of college work to do, I just couldn't do it all at the same time. I nibbled a little on the stories I'm writing, but nothing much. That's the reason for the small chapter (sorry about that too), but I'm going on a motherfucking break now so I think I'll go back to my normal pace which is writing nonstop until the sun comes up.
> 
> Ok go read now, bye.
> 
>  
> 
> _Please get my Mean Girls reference._

She can’t get over his presence. He’s been in her house for almost two days now- he’s been everywhere. The way her things start smelling like him makes it feel like months, but she only notices it when they part ways to attend different chores.  
  
Lydia looks at him and he’s home, sat on the couch, legs spread and an indecisive gaze over a variety of books in all different sizes, just scattered at the table in front of him. She thinks back to when her father sat there, always stiff with an agenda, looking inside the TV like he was searching for something. Lydia always knew he never watched a thing. Stiles seems more comfortable under her roof than her father ever did.  
  
She tries not to hold it against either of them.  
  
“We should talk.” Stiles stops staring and turns to her, pulling the girl out of her thoughts. Thankfully.  
  
“Yeah.” Lydia nods and settles beside him. She can’t tell if his breathing is erratic, but he sighs deeply before speaking again. She ignores the urge to mirror him, because she’s supposed the controlled one now and the idea pleases her.  
  
"Look, we've been through a lot, and I wish that it wasn’t as fucked up as it is, but…” He breathes in deeply. “You lost so much and I'm so, so sorry." The boy sighed, gaze falling onto his lap. "This is not some long life commitment-" _for now_ , she knows he's thinking it, but instead of saying anything he just takes a break and looks back at her. "But it's- _I'm_ a lot to handle, so we go about this anyway you want."  
  
Lydia's mind seems to melt under his speech, trying to roll itself around the concept of having to make that particular choice. And it's not like she didn't think of it last night, or every one of them since she learned about his break up, but it's real now. The coat of cold sweat forming on her hands remind her of the time she thought she had problems with math, because this is it. She's good at this- boys, that is, just like she's good at math. She breaks them down into fractions and figures them out like she's supposed to. Stiles is no different- she understands him even better than the others. But there's a catch. There always is with him and it drives her up the walls. She can't be casual about it and wave things off if it gets too heavy. He's Stiles. Intense, outspoken, painfully curious, courageous Stiles with no sense of casualty whatsoever. And he stands in front of her like a wall of expectancy. And she's in love with him. Stupidly so. So much that it makes her say,  
  
"We should be together." A sense of relief washes through her when the thought outs itself. It doesn’t stop her from cursing the way he makes her speak up for things she doesn’t really mean to.  
  
"Yeah?" The way his mouth gapes open and breaks in a smile causes her lips to press together so she holds back one of her own.  
  
Her worries fade just like that, with a look and a lopsided lost smile from the boy who held her hips so strong he left bruises the night before. She does that to him; makes his limbs watery and then steel. It feels like heaven.  
  
It has to work- because it's just nonsensical if it doesn't.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
He kisses her before anything else is said, and the way the leans over her wholeheartedly, like he can't stop himself, takes more of her breath away than the kiss itself. She wonders why he kisses her down, but there's no time to verbalize it before he does.  
  
"Will you be mad if I call Scott right now?"  
  
Rolling eyes feels somewhat mandatory sometimes.

_

"How are we gonna do this?" Stiles stares at the building in front of them, hands digging down his pockets. Lydia can see his knuckles through the fabric of this pants and that gives her no good signs. He's just as nervous as she is. Certainly even more excited, but nervous. She counted on him to be at ease so she could weigh it all on him, but the task revealed itself more of a pairing thing. Maybe a trio. She glances at Scott, just standing beside Stiles with a smile on his face; proud, if not cheery.  
  
"We're gonna walk in like we do daily." Lydia says, faking serenity as she adjusts her skirt for the fifth time in less than ten minutes. The counting makes her uneasy, but it's hard to stop once she's started.  
  
"Yeah, but do we kiss? Do we hug? Do we announce it to the world?"  
  
"Stiles, we don't have to plan this step by step, I'm more worried about sitting through a whole class with your ex-girlfriend sitting next to us when I'm sure she can smell _everything._ " Lydia hisses and huffs, annoyed at Stiles' priorities.  
  
"Yeah, I can barely tell you guys apart, dude."  
  
"See?" The girl groans.  
  
"Uhm, I'm not too worried about that." Stiles shrugs, grabbing his backpack from the Jeep's backseat.  
  
"Why the hell not?" Lydia hurls back to look at him as he makes a dismissive face.  
  
“Malia’s cool.”  
  
“She is.” Scott nods.  
  
Lydia huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and closing her eyes for brief seconds.  
  
“Can either one of you grasp the conceptual decency of no dating your friend’s ex-boyfriend? Or not at all being a part of the reason why they have an ex-boyfriend?” She argues, lifting her hands slightly. She hopes they don’t mention the fact that she and Malia aren’t actually friends. But the cohabitation in the same pack should fall under similar rules, she supposes.  
  
“No…?” Scott answers amicably, a careful grin displaying on his face.  
  
“ _Exactly._ ” The girl agrees. “So be worried, we’re awful people and this is gonna suck.” She decides, grabbing Stiles by the had when he finally finishes digging the stupid bag out of the jeep.  
  
“Hey, freaking out much there? I thought you were way cooler than this.” Stiles teases only to get harshly side-eyed.He almost stumbles back when she talks again.  
  
“Don’t get cocky, Stiles.” The girl hisses. “Now… Let’s go.”

_

Bottom line is: Stiles gets cocky.  
  
The boy grabs her by the waist the kisses her heatedly against every wall in the hallway. And maybe she does it once or twice too, but only when she’s sure no one can see them; Stiles on the other hand doesn’t miss a beat. He whispers against her ear and tells her about the things they could do later when they’re alone- never mind the overpopulation of wolves surrounding them. Lydia mostly gasps and walks away from him, feeling her face warming up to his words; always in fluster, never in shame.  
  
Kira glows and groans every time they walk into a room with her in it, nudging Scott and whispering things of her own that make the boy’s dimples show when he smiles sweetly at her then kissing her forehead. Lydia likes seeing him like that. If anyone deserves the best in this world, that’s Scott.  
  
Liam avoids them pointedly, drawing his eyebrows together and tightening his lips when he accidentally stumbles into the couple. Lydia swears she heard him muttering curses under his breath, but so what if he did? None of her business, she concludes. Maybe he’s having a bad day.  
  
As to Malia… things run their course.  
  
“So Danny stopped you there, huh? What did he say? Did he say something about me?” Stiles asks excitedly. Lydia snorts.  
  
“He’s not that into you, babe.” She pats him in the chest. “He was just congratulating me. _Us._ ”  
  
“Us?” Stiles chuckles. “I like being a couple so far. How do you like it?” He asks, hugging her by the waist.  
  
“Control yourself.” She pushes him away, smiling slyly. “I like it just fine, if you must know. But I think we should go eat. Let’s not be the alienated couple. And no fighting on the table either.”  
  
This times Stiles is the one to snort. Quite loudly, she might add.  
  
“Like we can do that.” He grabs her hand. “C’mon then.”  
  
Lydia can see their table as soon as she turns around the corner. Liam sits grumpily beside Scott. Kira fills the other side spot and Malia sits facing all of them. Her throat clenches and she swallows hard. She wants to hit Stiles for putting her in this situation- hadn’t he dated her Lydia’s heart would be settled as it should be and her instincts wouldn’t be turn classily on her heels and head anywhere but there. But he did date the girl. And her stomach might turn.  
  
It isn’t about fear, or shame, but she’s been fighting so hard to get their dynamics to fall into place and now this. They stood awkwardly around each other for so long before she became a third person viewer, watching them fit together like a solved puzzle. She doesn’t want to stand between that.  
  
“Hey.” Stiles greets, falling beside Malia. The girl doesn’t look at him, but answers accordingly.  
  
Scott answers immediately right back and they engage in a conversation Lydia doesn’t pay attention to. It’s easy to ignore the heaviness in her gut when she doesn’t actually see Malia as much as she only hears the girl laughing slightly every now and then during the break. And she sounds fine. They all look fine.  
  
Lydia shifts on her seat more often than she doesn’t, taking deep breaths. It had been a while since she paid attention again. It has little to do with Stiles and more with her openness to them all as a group, as she watches them eagerly again, urging to listen instead of drowning inside a book. She’s missed it. She should force herself to fit in again.  
  
There’s nothing good about living on the sidelines, so she won’t.  
  
“You okay?” Stiles asks softly.  
  
“Yeah.” She muses. “I’m okay.”


	9. Let Them Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, it's over. It's here and it's done.
> 
> Once again, I apologize for the wait, whoa. This is my last multi chapter ever and I am so glad it's over because I just couldn't take having is hanging over my head anymore. I hope everyone is as relieved as I am, and hopefully a little more fond of it. 
> 
> Onto other business, I can be found [here](http://writinski.tumblr.com/) and [here](http://scottmczall.tumblr.com/), while my amazing beta can be found [here](http://mcmartinskees.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Well, I'll leave you guys with this. Thanks for the patience and enjoy the ending!

“Stiles,” Lydia says it slowly, threatening. “Do. _Not._ ” She hears him huff and his back hitting the mattress again.

He’s done it the entire week- the struggle with the alarm. He wakes up always (Magic? Will power? Who knows) one minute before it goes off, silences it and tucks it under his pillow. The first time she realizes the reason why getting ready demands a little more of her abilities and why they’re showing up late to school, she groans and Stiles takes a step back. Now, that used to be everything it took- or not even that, just one look-, and he’d back off, but then he got bold. And lazy.

“Don’ wanna get up.” He gets closer, one knee opening passage between her legs so they can entangle themselves together. His hand goes under her shirt and he settles his fingertips under the waistband of her shorts, pulling her body against his.

Stiles is touchy. She finds that out soon enough. At first she thought it was only about sex, and how he kept initiating it in the middle of other mundane activities, but then it was just cuddling on the couch, or sitting on her lap uninvited in the middle of lunch. It doesn’t bother her nearly as much as she figured it would. It doesn’t bother her at all.

“We have to. Hmph, Stiles-” She shifts on the bed when he nuzzles against the back of her ear, turning until she can actually see him. He always does it, inhaling loudly in a way that makes her shiver, and she doesn’t even put up a fight. But not today. She puts her hand on his face and shoves it, making him roll back a little. “Get off the bed right now!”

“Lyds!” He gasps, letting go of her.

Lydia sits up, throwing him a glare, and drags herself until she’s on the bed’s edge, feeling the floor under her feet. “Stop being such a baby about it, it’s just school. We’ve been doing it for years.”

“Yeah, I didn’t exactly wake up with you laying here before, so I’m sorry if I wanna cherish the mornings somewhere else.” He mocks, getting up as well. “By the way, since when do you resist my acts of seduction?” Stiles narrows his eyes at her, hands on his waist.

“Since I’ve actually wanted to,” She smirks, watching his jaw drop slightly. “Get dressed, loverboy.”

_

School's boring. More so than usual, and Lydia can't help but ask herself if this sudden realization is growth of her genius (she's a very self aware girl, mind you) or Stiles' long, sufferable speeches on the educational system and its countless flaws, such as the unspoken hierarchy among subjects. She knows it's no coincidence the babbling starts as soon as he opens his books and starts his (highly annoying, yet surprisingly effective) study rotational system, just to keep his attention span in check, but that doesn't mean she brushes it off completely. Anyhow, in short, school's boring.

“So,” Kira emerges from behind her, as usual, looking guiddy. Her first classes are over, along with lunch break, and now she heads to history; hence the overly excited kitsune’s company.  “You and Stiles…” She smiles, speaking slowly.

“Kira, it’s been two weeks, sweetie, why are you addressing it like it’s a possibility instead of a reality?” Lydia asks trying to hold back the bite on her tone, but it leaks right through. Not that Kira seems to care, or that Lydia means it in a negative way, anyways.

“Well, it’s not actually official, is it, though?” Kira shrugs in a painfully fake gesture of dismissal. “I mean, he hasn’t even met your mom.”

“Of course he has!” Lydia protests without missing a beat, widening her eyes at her friend. Stiles has met her mother. She thinks so. Well, he’s told her about it… Once? Twice? _Damn it._

Lydia thinks back on the weeks that have passed, and the quick goodbye kisses, or the way she shouted about her whereabouts every now and then... And how not once had she considered sitting down and telling her mom about her _relationship_. The word echoes bitterly in the back of her head, like she somehow stepped on it by absentmindedly neglecting the subject, which makes her feel like an overgrown child with a business deal on her hands. This isn't supposed to be formal, but there's a sense of duty to it that has her head weighting.

Kira must read Lydia’s expression well from the look she’s pulling know (an annoying, knowing one). “Is that so?” She pushes, her lips forming a smirk. Lydia doesn’t know how Kira’s halfway this Third Eye person when she's the one supposed to predict things. Well, death, specifically, but that’s just beside the point.

“I hate taking history with you, did you know that?” Lydia narrows her eyes at her, then eyes the corridor Kira doesn’t ever fail to trap her in with her questions and assumptions.

“I wouldn’t know why.”

_

Once she starts thinking about it she cannot stop (curse Kira and her observational skills). She doodles nervously on the edge of her notes every now and then, frowning at it and telling herself to stop at least once before she starts doing it again, and it goes on all day long. She bites her bottom lip a little too hard and squeezes Stiles' hand a little too intensely when they head to their last class. Can her nerves be getting on her nerves?

“Hey, are you alright?" Stiles stops in front of her, blocking her way, and places a hand on her shoulder. He looks concerned, like he always seems to be when she shows any emotion out of the happy-to-irritated scale.

Lydia blinks three times before answering- and the counting kills her because it feels even more methodical now. "We have to talk to my mom." She replies breathily.

Stiles nods slowly and narrows his eyes at her. "... About?

"Us, Stiles! About us! Because I haven't told her. Apparently I've just been venturing to your house in the middle of the day and not coming back, like some ungrateful little prick."

"Whoa, where's this coming from?" He frowns empathetically. "I mean, yeah, sure we'll talk to... your mom," Stiles' look grows distant as his voice gets smaller, and he flares his nostrils for a second before speaking again. "And my _dad_? Have we talked to my dad?" He wonders, a little out of breath.

Lydia inhales sharply, "Stiles we haven't talked to anyone, we just started parading around holding each other's hands and assumed everyone got the idea." She screws her eyes shut, lips forming a thin line. "I've been sleeping at your house for two weeks and we didn't even talk to your father." When she opens her eyes again, Stiles is has his mouth gaping open, hands on his waist and a facial expression like he's just had an epiphany.

"That's what he was talking about!" Stiles smiles at her, happy with the realization, but she doesn't reciprocate. She's got a bomb on her hands, dammit! There are enough secrets, she doesn't need an accidental one. "You know, cause he's been saying some weird things about us..." When she keeps her guarded expression, his smile falls. "Okay, alright. We'll talk to them tonight. We'll go to my house first, because if we go to yours your mom might not let you come back to mine, and there's no way I'm missing your face when we tell my dad." He finishes and rubs his palms together. "Sound good?"

Lydia eyes her boyfriend, crossing her arms above her chest with an acid smirk playing on her lips. "It would've sounded perfect two weeks ago."

"Well, don't blame me! You were there too, you could've said something two weeks ago just as I could've." He mirrors her, biceps showing more prominently as he does. " And you didn't seem so worried last night when you [made me wear the cap](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/triggersuniverse/works/3756334) and do all those thin-"

Lydia's eyes go wide and she almost gasps, remembering everything perfectly as her face grows warm and tingly. She curses herself for shuddering and biting her bottom lip, getting all types of ideas when Stiles found a cap, of all things, and put it backwards in his head, with a dumb grin growing on his face. "We're not talking about the stupid cap. I told you there's no explanation, just _drop it_." She stops him with a huff, turning on her heels when he smirks. "I'll see you later."

_

When she sees him again he's leaning against the Jeep, waiting for her as he now does whenever he's the one driving them to school. Classes are finally over and she's absolutely ready to wash school off of herself and rid of all the stress right with it. Unfortunately, judging by the grimace on her boyfriend's face, something's putting a temporary strain on her plans. They have other things to do.

"My dad's already home." Stiles announces when she gets closer. Lydia sighs and nods, biting down on her bottom lip. "We really doing this?"

She frowns, "Don't you want to?" and she knows it sounds like a trap for a fight, but she doesn't mean it like that. This is somewhat a big step and she needs to know he's one hundred percent with her.

"Well, I'm not really dying of excitement here, but... yeah, I do." He huffs, inching closer to her and pulling her by the waist. "Let's go make this official, huh?" Stiles puts a strand of her hair behind her ear, capturing her eyes with his. She smiles at him briefly before he kisses her full on the lips, making her sigh and feel herself physically relax under his touch. He runs his thumbs over her back dimples after skillfully dragging his hands under her shirt, pressing his digits down on them to bring her closer and spins her until she's backed against his car.

Lydia breaks the kiss, pushing him away slowly, "We're already official. This is a mere announcement." She pats him on the cheek and circles the car to get on the passenger's seat door. "I'm assuming you already told your dad we need to talk."

Stiles nods, getting in the car as well. "Sure did. He's gotta be digging a hole with his pacing around in the living room as we speak, so I'm gonna hurry."

Lydia huffs a laugh. "He probably thinks I'm pregnant."

Stiles snaps a look at her and swallows hard. She's probably right. " _Shit._ "

He drives fast, sending Lydia quick questions about how they're gonna go about all this. What should they say first? Is his dad going to forbid her from sleeping there now? Is he gonna give them the sex talk? Is he gonna ground him? Lydia mostly just ignores him, which only leads to Stiles calling her name relentlessly for an astounding number of times as she only smiles amusedly at him, taking a weird kind of joy out of watching his distress.

He talks a lot when he's nervous and she can tell by the way he taps on the steering wheel that this is full-on nervous in the non-supernatural scale. He exhales longer than usual and keeps sending her these puzzled looks, like he doesn't quite understand how does she fakes it so well, her figure still and cool-like. She just slips out at one moment that this corresponds to years of work no one can obtain in just a few minutes.

"It's gonna be okay, Stiles. Your dad loves me and he loves you. This is fine. We're fine." She coos, running a hand down his bicep before getting out of the jeep, quickly being followed by him. She extends him a hand and he takes it eagerly, looking at her for reassurance before opening the door. She nods and he steps inside his house as if he's never done it before.

"Dad?" Stiles calls, throwing his backpack on the couch. He tries taking Lydia's purse, but after seeing the way he launches his things about like they're nothing, she slaps his hand away and he makes a face. When he's about to protest her doing, his father crosses the kitchen's door into the living room and she can hear her boyfriend inhale sharply. "Heeeey, dad." He greets weakly.

The man crosses his arms, a sweet smile forming on his lips. "Hey, son." He nods, "Lydia." and she smiles right back. He steps closer to them, standing in front of the couch Stiles just assaulted with his backpack. "You finally gonna tell me?" He raises an eyebrow at them and they blush collectively, holding on tighter to each other's hands.

"Yeah… uh- so this," He lifts their linked hands, "is a, uhm, us now and-" He almost chokes on his own tongue, starting to smile a little at his father, but still at a loss of words (which is nothing, if not ironic). Lydia looks at him waiting for an elaboration, but his mouth has gone slack and he's trading what appears to be meaningful looks with his father. The only problem is that she isn't exactly sure if the meaning is mutual, since the Sheriff squints and tilts his head, looking as confused as one can be.

She steps in before they can dwell too further into their staring contest, "We're dating, Sheriff." She resumes sharply, quickly and cleanly. "It's been two weeks and formally telling everyone..." Lydia looks at Stiles for a second before clearing her throat. "Slipped our minds."

John stares at them, suspicious, if anything, and lets out a long sigh. "Yeah, well, I figured. You kids have been running up these stairs everyday like you're the damned calvary for a whole week now." The complaint sounds more amused than scolding, which makes Lydia's shoulders relax. "You two happy?" He vaguely points at them, his tone growing a little more serious.

Lydia is about to answer, but she holds her words back, deciding it's best if Stiles says it himself. His father wants to hear from his son and she knows better than to step on their moment. They start trading looks again and Stiles breathes in, satisfied. He trails his hand up Lydia's forearm, brushes his thumb against her skin and slowly pulls her closer to him.

"The happiest." He replies sincerely, and he might as well be singing in her ear.

His father nods again and Lydia takes a glimpse of pride and relief a second before he takes a step back into the kitchen. "I'm making dinner. We can talk more about this while we eat later." 

"Yeah, about that..." Stiles twists his nose, scratching the back of his head.

"We still have to go talk to my mom." Lydia explains with a shrug. She's less worried about her mom than she was about the sheriff, if she's being completely honest. Even so, she can still feel Stiles finds himself in the exact opposite situation, because he clacks with his tongue and the tip of his fingers start growing cold on her arm.

The man's eyebrows draw together and his mouth falls open like he just can't believe what she said. "You kids forgot both parents?"

"It _really_ slipped our minds." Stiles reinforces.

The Sheriff clips the bridge of his nose and runs his hand through his face, closing his eyes. "Get outta here you two."

_

When Stiles gets inside the Jeep this time there's no tapping. He's still and quiet, concentrated on the road. Lydia thinks that's the most disturbing thing she's ever seen in her entire life- the spastic, most likely to babble boy driving without saying a word, especially when he had poured his heart out on their previous ride, not the least bit merciful of her ears. She squeezes his shoulder this time, hoping to provide some reassurance when they arrive at her house.

"Oh, man, you were much better at comforting me than I am with comforting you, right?" Stiles puts his hands together, taking a deep breath and letting out a shaky one. "I'm freaking out. This is so much worse, I think I'm gonna pass out."

They stare at her door for longer than they did his and every time she reaches for it Stiles asks for a second. "Stiles my mother _likes_ you, can you please calm down?" She rolls her eyes, twisting the doorknob this time, throwing him a glare. "This can be really quick, you just need to get it together for five minutes." With that she steps in, pulling him by the hem of his shirt.

"Lydia?" Her mother calls out from a distance and she's instantly sure she's at their dining room. "Sweetie, I thought you were going to stay at your friend's house." Her speech becomes clearer as she gets closer, crossing the house until she gets to them.

Lydia purses her lips when they finally see each other, her mother's eyes falling over Stiles tenderly. "I will. After we talk."

"Oh, Stiles, I haven't seen you here in a few days. How are you?" She smiles fully, stepping forward towards them. Lydia gets out of her way instinctively, realizing her mother's about to greet Stiles as warmly as she probably could. She's easily charmed by Stiles. He hasn't even done _anything_ and she's already on her best behavior.

"Uhm, hello, Ms. Martin." Stiles replies uncertainly, looking at Lydia for some sort of aid. She shrugs, widening her eyes. He doesn't need help, but obviously he would be the last one to notice. "You look very nice." He attempts a smile and doesn't fail completely, since Natalie returns it gladly.

"That's nice of you to say." She nods with a bright smile. Lydia is almost groaning at their entire interaction. If these were earlier times, her mother would be giving her to Stiles in a white dress, ready to tie the knot. "What is it that you wanna talk about?"

Lydia snaps a look an unimpressed look at her mom, like she's used to do, and opens her mouth ready to blow her away with a sharp answer. To her surprise, however, Stiles interrupts her.

"Actually," Stiles glances at her for a second, as if to day he's got this, and proceeds, "The both of us need to talk to you, Ms. Martin."

"Natalie, please." The woman intervenes.

"Right, Natalie!" Stiles chuckles nervously. "I'm just gonna," He turns around, closing the front door, "We, uhm, we should sit, right?" He looks at Lydia for confirmation and she nods nonchalantly. Stiles gestures towards the couch and they all walk quietly, sitting down together, in a synchronized motion.

Natalie entangle her fingers together, her hands on her lap. "Should I be worried?"

"No! Not at all." Stiles almost trip on his words, spilling them quickly. Lydia looks at him quizzically, unsure of how the quivering limbed boy she saw a few moments ago is now taking a hold of the situation. He looks slightly calmer, surely less intimidated, but still chews at the corner of his bottom lip before speaking. "We just wanted to tell you that we're dating, and have been for two weeks now." Stiles smiles almost gingerly, the corners of his mouth curving downwards, and it's so sincere she shuffles closer to him, wanting to touch.

She still gets flustered and thrown off about the way some things affect her. They're like small triggers, going off only to remind her of how she actually feels about Stiles. She drowns in the sensation, falling back with eyes closed, because she's at her best when it surrounds her, swallows her whole without warning, leaving her with a fluttering heart and this unstoppable will to live. It's frightening to have something so strong act upon her when it comes from someone else, but, god, she wants this. She trusts it.

Her mother looks at the both of them with a frown, "That's... not news." Natalie replies slowly. "I've been seeing you guys together at school for days already."

Lydia closes her eyes as she motions her entire body forward, letting her elbows rest on her thighs, a bubble for laughter rising inside her. _Of course._

"Well, this is awkward," Stiles' voice sounds choked out and he sinks back on the couch, like he wants to back away from the situation entirely. "And really obvious, actually." He adds hurriedly.  

Natalie laughs quietly, amused by the two of them. "Not entirely. It's nice to be told." She says softly. "I'm glad you guys did this… but what took you so long?"

"We actually forgot. We just assumed everyone knew and then realized that maybe it wasn't the case," His eyebrows shoot up when he looks at Lydia again. "Clearly we were half right the first time around, so."

"For all it's worth, I think it's wonderful that you two are together." Natalie shrugs, knowing that Lydia would make it a point of it to mention her overly enthusiastic reaction if she did or say anything a slightly more chipper than that. "Treat each other right." She says finally, and it's really all she hopes for. Lydia nods this time around, remembering every time she was caught crying about Jackson, and the way her mother hugged her protectively and gave good advice she never thought she had it in her to take.

"We will." She assures.

_

When they leave this time, they're free. Lydia hopes to never have to sit her mother down to talk about anything ever again in her life. She prays that Stiles will never have to to the same with his dad, and things will be easy like this. They need it to be like that- hands slipping together for strength, and peace within reason. Lydia appreciates it, and is sure Stiles knows when her head drops against his shoulder. She wonders if he feels the triggers like she does. She means to tell him he can pull every single one of them.


End file.
